So the carnival is over. The mega circus, The Great Indian Elections, which took
us on a ride for the last year or so has finally reached its finale. There’s a
reason why I call it a circus because at the end of it we had both, a clown and a tiger!
The election day is one such day when your index
finger finally gains some prominence. This finger which for days, months and
years has been relegated for doing disgusting and embarrassing tasks such as
pricking your nose, rubbing your eye, cleaning your ear, brushing your teeth and
getting inserted in a few other places which are downright indecent to write
and read, finally gets its moment of glory!
And boy what glory it is! With that ink on your
finger you say to the world, I stand by my rights! I’m a responsible citizen!
And if you are a voter from any of the Indian villages, you say to the world
“Hey, you can now look at just 90% of my calcium deficient white finger nails!
Yay!”
Generally in an election you have two types of
people- Those who vote and those who do not. This election you had a third
type which was- “I work at this bigshot MNC in a big shot metro city and I’m
too lazy to go to my home town and cast my vote but I have already plastered my Facebook wall and annoyed my friends with my expert election analysis, so what
do I do? What do I do? I tell people, my name was not on the voter list! Blame
it on the government! Phew! Saved!”
You see all those people who fall in this third
category, I dislike you! You make a lot of noise, you keep blaming the
government and even if you started off with good intent and a bit of
responsibility eventually you have created ZERO impact! Who do you think you
are? An AAP member?
What AAP is going through right now can be termed
as a “chic in an engineering college” syndrome. To be elaborate; when a girl
enters an engineering college, due to sheer lack of options and an ever
mounting frustration/desperation among guys, she becomes the center of
attention. Becomes popular and in the frenzy gains many followers. But the
moment she steps out of the college, she realizes, well there are a plenty
others who are way better than her. As for the guys, they are the Aam junta. During
college and even later all they face is neglect.
But before we move ahead, let’s pay our condolences
to the gone-by party in power, The Indian National Congress. I would have
preferred observing a 2 minute silence but then our ex-prime minister has already completed that quota on behalf of all of us.
Congress won a total of 44 seats, which
co-incidentally is Rahul Gandhi’s age and perhaps his IQ too. I feel that the
Congress party should change its symbol from palm to face-palm. If anything
that would be an accurate representation of their party’s current status.
You see the problem with the Congress party is
that they are flocked with leaders like Digvijay Singh and ND Tiwari (yea the same
dude who got married at 88 and perhaps celebrated his first night too, the idea
of which is equally disturbing as that of bonded labor, apartheid and
slavery). These leaders with their scandalous lifestyles are perhaps the last
people who have any use of their palm! If anything, these leaders have degraded
Congress’s slogan from
“Har haath Shakti, Har haath tarakki”
to
“Har haath Shakti(Kapoor), Har haath Tharkki”
Another problem with the Congress Party is that
their leaders do things that do not suit their age.
At 44- Rahul Gandhi is his doting mama’s boy.
At 66- Digvijay is dating hot chics.
At 88 -ND Tiwari is celebrating his first night.
I’m 22.... where’s my cradle and my bottle of milk?
At 44- Rahul Gandhi is his doting mama’s boy.
At 66- Digvijay is dating hot chics.
At 88 -ND Tiwari is celebrating his first night.
I’m 22.... where’s my cradle and my bottle of milk?
But enough of Congress bashing. As we all know ache din aane wale hai. The line so cheesy that it seems to have jumped directly out of some Ekta Kapoor's daily soap. So does Narendra Modi. For starters just like in Ekta Kapoor's soaps, he deserted his wife leaving her bechari, besahara and abla. Secondly, this dude sheds tears while talking, which impresses people and to top it all he quite religiously believes in the concept of maa ka aashirvaad! And just like the Ekta Kapoor's soaps, this man forged such a cord with the Indian public, that well... rest is history.
But in all honestly I'm glad that the elections are done with. There's only so much of drama and action you can stomach. And there are only so many of ab-ki-baar jokes you can tolerate. I had reached the brink of irritation, and I'm more than happy that it ended just in time with perhaps the most appropriate result. Now I can finally focus on more pressing issues affecting my personal life, such as- the out come of Tyrion Lannister's trial by combat.
